It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
