I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
