A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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