i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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