Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
