Your dad touched me again.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
