Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
accomplished twins. life is a go
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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