Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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