i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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