somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
