I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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