My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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