I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
where are my eyebrows?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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