hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sext me about skeletons
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
