he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
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traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
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If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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