So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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