Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
