I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
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i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
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Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
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