I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
