Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
