So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
