Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
