every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
