my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
