Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My underwear smells like fireworks.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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