We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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