dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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