there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
