Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
