Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
