I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
