That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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