Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
