Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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