have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
