I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
