Can Purell be used as lube?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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