hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
