Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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