what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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