I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
