My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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