I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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