Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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