took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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