Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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