Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
