i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
