Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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