Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
