Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
