If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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