do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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