Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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