sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
