New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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